even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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