we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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