In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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