Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize