this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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