I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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