Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
