I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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