Yo dont text me then not text me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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