So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
