she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
