Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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