Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize