I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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