no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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