The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dick very happy bro
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
