Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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