Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
