FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
