Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
