she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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