She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize