By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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