i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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