Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
