I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
