you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
