literally had 100 drinks last night.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
