id be glad to
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize