So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
