dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
