Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize