I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize