it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
