I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I touched a dick in church today
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
