His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
