you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
