im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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