Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize