youre lurking in front of me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
