No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
