My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
