Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
