I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This is my gift to your gina
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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