It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
