They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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