Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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