I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
