Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we're making bets on your personal life
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
