I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's blow job season.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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