so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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