Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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