I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
