she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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