Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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