I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
