Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
