Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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