SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
