just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize