oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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