Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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