ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
